Friends · Growing Up · Journal


Story of breaking apart from relations is never ending tale of emotional drama

It took me a little long – like years – to understand the reason for my sadness in breaking apart from relations. Friendship, love, death or whatever! Leaving one is always giving the same feeling – sad, depressed. So, i set on to search for cause!

Yeah!I too had the same thought – ‘why find a cause? Because Its part and parcel of being human, get sad when someone close leave! Ryt?.

Everyone, in oneself is having individual existence, independent of each other! In a relation or not, that never change. If being an individual is important, being sad in break-up is out of equation. Since am not following an equation, i was bound to get sad! Ryt?. Getting sad was a routine, will be a routine forever, i thought on some bad mornings.

Myself being common in my breakups, i decided to find a reason for my sadness, being a strong believer of individuality i should get that reason and neutralize its effect on me becoming independent. After many long solo rides, searching for it, i got glimpse of one good reason, that could explain everything happened in past breakups.

Explaining oneself to others is difficult, and in a short time its a big task. Doing the same to one who wish to move apart is another difficult story all together. That story had been happening the whole time, with most of my breakups. Trying to explain myself, making myself clear to that person, with some part of me wishing for that person to be there with me, making me fight for it, while another wish to back off! Latter would win in the end but with some scars to learn from and move on.

So yeah! What if i wish to take breakups as an abrupt end to any relation?, Then when will i explain myself, the answer will always be, never explain yourself to anyone, remain oneself… Live Happy!

Friends · Growing Up · Journal

Why I Ride???

So all of a sudden i decided to write this post down tonight, because i want to make clear to myself one good reason, ‘Why I Ride?’.

Having MyBird for going anywhere and everywhere meant, that reason is, for being with Matt rest of life. She have become an integral part of my life in past 7 months. Starting with first long ride to the one i made tonight, the amount of trust i have on her, i never had with any. The moments were cursed about the oncoming bright traffic at night to the roadside breaks, were i laid my back on her, will always be the best. From the kickstart in the morning to the time i put her on centre stand for a long rest at nightfall, all i care for is our happiness.

If that’s not it, then i thought watching NPCB ( malayalam movie) about 5years ago, were the hero rides towards the feeling in his heart on his thumping machine, was that reason which made me ride. As portrayed in the movie riding towards a destination is not why we ride, its about the journey and all that comes with it. Ups and Downs, Feelings and Aches, People and Places enroute the destination is more than many reasons why i ride.

Still, is that it?! the respect towards a machine, who puts the same amount of trust on the rider is i think the best reason i would ride for.

I don’t ride because i don’t have anything else to do, i ride because i love, every second of it and i live to ride, ride where ever MyBird would take me. When we are together, all that we care for is each other, hence we ride as long as we can!

NB:- to whom so ever it may concern, this moment of life is more important to me than last second or next minute. I don’t have a dream life, am living it every second! TICK.TICK.TICK…


Growing Up · Journal · Poems

Storm is Coming…

She was there

Like every stranger out there

She never spoke

Not till I made that mistake

She stood by me

Like every friend out there

She stood by me

To enjoy the goodness in me

She was there

Like every friend out there

She cared for me

And thought it was mad to care for me

She was a stronger

And life got better

She was there

Like every girl out there

She wanted nothing

Nothing, but everything

She shed tears every night

For that fight she thought was right

She did everything right

Did nothing to put things right

She stood there

When its time for me to go.

Growing Up · Journal

What is this world?


“Independence, learned to be independent” a friend replied, when i asked on last year resolutions.

I too had lot of things to be done this year. Most of them checked! Few unchecked/half checked things still left. One out of which is ofcourse, being Independent.

But I dont know how! Dependence to a 4 to 6 inch screen, which can open whole world at finger tips, is taken as a factor in removing dependence to humans.

Why Mobile phones? – I would say, it provides a ‘controlled environment’ to talk to anyone, without being infront of them. Controlled – because the hang up key is there on your side as well.

Why messages? – Make life better, ryt? Waiting till someone start typing Or for light to turn colour all familiar feeling altogether – Independence, My Friend said. Away from all real form of humans!

PS: Independence is a feeling, you get when you do what you needed the most, that too with passion – Do what you Love and Love what you do

Growing Up

That Excites me…

Life moves on and everything happen for a reason…to give up in the end is far easier than giving up everything to live through it, its a different feeling…

4 practicals, 10 days… And long vacation! When its all done, am becoming what i dreamt of since 2009??? Almost a decade in making a dream come true… Boring higher secondary tutions, a year of preparation behind closed doors, nearly 5years of college… Uff!!! And now, going for the last fight ( atleast inside my head ), it’s a long way, can’t believe, looking back i made through till this day in one piece ( rhetorically ).

So yeah, day after tomorrow my practical starts. Why this post? I thought this is kinda that day, i got why i should not give up on my dream. Not that it took a decade, but it is transforming me… Irresponsible kid to someone more responsible ( oops! I will explain that later ). And i love that part of this phase.

2017, it started out like any other year! Adding one year to my existence in this planet ( pain pf having born in January ), 4months into it, Alas! It been the best, i guess!

Final phase of college, the pain of leaving has never been there ( not because of the intern year ), but the few people i was lucky to be with in this phase of life. From keeping my facial muscles busy, letting me feel at ease, from being a stranger to a wellwisher to eyeopener ( this person deserves more adjectives that these ) . The healthy relations and the new opppurtunities i realised in the last 4months, motivates me! 

Becoming what i dreamt of and loving what i become is all that is needed for a happy life…is it? ( Hope i write back one day, saying i was right )!

Growing Up

It just bursted &…

Feeling relieved, unwanted though. But got a much need breakthrough. Every turn is an opportunity, Every chance is something to learn, better learn things today than keeping it for tomorrow…

Growing Up

Love what you do, Do what you love!

There can be no happiness if things we believe in are different from the things we do

Lately, I was thinking about my future days to come. I was said, by elders, to keep the spirit live inside by thinking about the beautiful future, what you will become, imagining yourself in that sort of high position, etc these always helped me get up and fight back when i was down. But it is not so now, all those days i dreamt about, the high positions i will become is going to happen in very less time, and am afraid. Now, I get questions up in my head, strange feeling in my gut when i think, so i rarely do so. Instead, I started pushing those questions out from my head, with difficulty, yes, am improving. What this has to do with growing up?

August 16, 2012, it all started that day, when i think and ask myself what i have done or changed in me since that day, i hardly find anything. Four years since joining this college, i doubt what have changed in me! Did i grow up? Or did i just existed here?. Many things happened at different levels, did i go up or down?. One thing i keep telling myself ever since i started introspecting is, ‘I never came here with these thoughts’, is it a sign of change. I believe it is.