Journal

Alone

I would like to call it that way, this feeling. Ever since i can remember from first ‘internal’ conflict within my family till current scenario running, i only felt being left alone. Stood for each one of 3 ends of me, for what i thought i was right on.

Everytime it was time for me make a giant leap or like i see,the crucial times in my life, including now. The last people i hope to stand by me, give me the support i require mentally, tend to give me worst environment. What to live for now?, I askd everytime i run into these situations. Am too weak to make decisions now, or i dont know how to make one good decision and stick by it. 

Am tired of crying, taking it hard on myself for all this hardtimes. I dont want to call me a loser again. In life or anything i fight, i will fight like a warrior trying to save his men! Yes, my men. I can’t kill me and be with people, who dont seem to understand what ‘family’ means. Am not here to teach them that. If i need any better life, my way is living with the goodness in my heart, be good and hope good people exist and yeah… 

Being alone, my choice or not, to enjoy that is all that i learned from my life…

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